


Your wounds are my wounds

by seaofsolitude



Category: Akatsuki no Yona | Yona of the Dawn
Genre: Attempt at Humor, F/M, Fluff and Angst, I tried star
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-25
Updated: 2015-06-25
Packaged: 2018-04-06 02:04:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4203780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seaofsolitude/pseuds/seaofsolitude
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Yona decides to do something, it’s impossible to change her mind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Your wounds are my wounds

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr.

“I’ll sleep with Hak.”

It surely wasn’t the first time Hak was hearing that sentence in his life. One could think he was used to it already, but his whole body tensed up and froze in place. He took a deep breath and turned around to look at his fragile princess, but instead, found a fierce woman.

“Oh, really?” Hak used his best tone of mockery to hide the sudden nervousness, fists painfully clenched. “I don’t think so, princess. You’re not going to fool me again.”

“I’m not trying to fool you this time,” Yona stated. “And besides, you’re already teaching me swordsmanship, aren’t you?”

Hak narrowed his eyes, unable to contest that argument. He then closed the gap between them, and asked softly,

“So why do you want to sleep with me?”

“How should I put it?” Yona seemed to be struggling with her words, but Hak knew she wasn’t. “I want to watch you sleep,” her tone was casual, far too casual. So much so, that it drew looks from Jae-ha and Kija, who were sitting together considerably far away from them both.

Just like that a spark flew. Seemingly small and harmless, but it spread like wildfire.

Hak was taken aback. At that moment, he could swear he had never been that surprised before. It wasn’t just Yona’s words that could move him, the dragons, and even a mountain itself. It wasn’t even the soft steadiness of her voice, but her eyes; everything about her eyes.

Hak had seen beautiful things while travelling with his grandfather when he was younger. He had also seen scary sights that could turn one’s blood to ice; haunt your dreams forever. But he had never seen such beauty and terror, walking together like old friends, colliding and mixing themselves so perfectly, as he could now see in Yona’s eyes.

It was breathtaking. It was unforgettable.

Yet Hak wouldn’t allow himself to be defeated like that.

“I never took you for a pervert, princess,” he smirked knowingly. Yona’s eyes widened, the intensity fading away with the shock. The next moment she was found frowning, much like she did every time Hak teased her.

“I don’t know what made you think such thing, but you’re dead wrong!” she pouted subconsciously.

“How am I wrong?” Hak crossed his arms defiantly. “You just clearly announced that you’re sleeping with me; and not for the first time either. If I recall well enough, that time in the castle–”

“You know it was a different case!” Yona half-shouted, but soon lowered her voice to add, “There was a ghost in my room, you had to protect me from it!”

Hak laughed, but it sounded softer than before. He had to admit (even if just to himself) that Yona could be extremely adorable when she was angry. 

It was still no good. She could be telling the truth about wanting to watch him sleep, but Hak knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep well if she was around. He had been there enough times to know what would happen; and as much as Hak loved to be alone with her, it was also dangerous. He had once let go of his control for selfish reasons, and now wasn’t a good time to make the same mistake again. He knew the conflict all too well.

Hak sighed inwardly. It sucks to love someone so entirely, especially when you have to keep that to yourself.

“I’m flattered by the offer, princess. I’m sure you’re just dying to sleep with me, but Droopy eyes can be a good company when he wants.”

The green dragon crossed his arms, all smugness and smiles. “You bet I can!” he yelled, apparently listening to the whole conversation.

Hak shot him a murderous look and yelled back, “fuck off!”, but Jae-ha only ignored him, instead turning to Kija while saying something like, “he loves me”.

“But you two don’t even sleep together!” Yona argued.

“Trust me, princess,” Hak leaned in, as if to share a secret. “Droopy eyes can get very cuddly sometimes, and he tends to float towards me at night. It’s really troublesome, but it’s not like I can help it.”

Yona frowned, looking genuinely concerned. “I can talk to him if you want.” 

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you. Dragon pride, you know?” Hak shook his head with a sigh, but he was laughing on the inside. It would be a good thing if Jae-ha actually cared about any of that.

“Anyway, you should go to your tent now and get some sleep, princess. We’ll have to work tomorrow to get some money; you’ll probably have to dance again. Be ready.”

“But–”

“No buts, just get going!” Hak grabbed Yona by the shoulders, and turned her around towards her tent. “Goodnight, princess,” he patted her head, fingers lingering in her hair. No matter how many times Hak willed his hand to let go, it just wouldn’t listen to him.

After much effort, Hak stepped away and walked towards a tree. Lying flat on his back, he grieved the fact that it was a cloudy night; no stars were in sight. The only source of light was the bonfire they had lit earlier, but the monstrous trees around made the forest look even darker, the glow of the fire infinitesimal in the night.

Hak closed his eyes; hoping sleep would embrace him soon. Still he couldn’t help thinking that perhaps, it would be good to have someone to sleep with. It would be good if Yona–

His thoughts were abruptly interrupted by a sudden warmth in his left side. Hak opened his eyes to find Yona snuggling up to his body.

“WHAT THE F–” but he never finished his sentence, because a small, calloused hand quickly covered his mouth.

“Please be quiet! Just shut up, okay?” Yona whispered hurriedly. Her eyes burned brighter than the bonfire amidst the darkness.

Hak was–not for the first time–speechless.

After a few seconds, Yona slowly withdrew her hand, sighing contently.

“I’m staying here, whether you want it or not,” she said. 

Hak could say something witty. He could argue, tease her, but deep inside he knew he had lost to that girl. Not only their argument; but his heart a long time ago too.

“Why–” Hak thought his voice would come out steady, but it trembled instead. He cleared his throat to carry on, “Why do you want to watch me sleep? Is it fun?”

Yona rested her head on his arm.

“It’s not about being fun.”

“Then what is it about, princess?” Hak wanted an answer, and he wouldn’t give up on that.

Yona sighed. “Why do we always have to argue?” Her voice was barely a whisper now.

“I don’t know, maybe we’re a terrible match,” he teased.

“Don’t… say that,” instead of facing him, like Hak thought she would, Yona looked down.

Hak fell silent. He thought about saying it was just a joke, but for some reason he didn’t like those words either. He didn’t like thinking he wasn’t good enough for Yona, even if in the end it was true.

“You always overwork yourself,” Yona started after some time. It was rather surprising, since Hak had assumed that she was already asleep. “So much, sometimes you look half-dead.”

“That’s just my charm, princess.”

“Hak, I can’t just close my eyes and pretend I’m not the reason behind your weariness.” Yona sat up, breathing harshly. “You help me every day; you teach me swordsmanship every night. I know it’s your job, but this is becoming too much!”

“So what?” Hak frowned. “You’re the one who told me to teach you. Watching me sleep won’t change anything, will it?”

“I can’t believe you’re still stuck on that part!” Yona huffed, not wanting to admit he was right. “Fine then, if you really want to know the truth, I’ll tell you. I thought that if I watched you sleep, I could make sure you rested enough. It’s a selfish reason I know, but my heart just wouldn’t calm down, no matter what I did.”

Yona looked away; her small hands were clutching her chest tightly.

Hak knew that feeling. It was wild and devastating. He could never blame Yona for feeling like that. She was too kind to just turn her back on his suffering. 

“Once you told me that I shouldn’t feel responsible for your wounds, because they were part of the path you chose.” Hak said quietly. “To tell you the truth, I didn’t understand what you meant. Hell, I didn’t understand how you could say such a thing, for your wounds are my wounds, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. But my wounds are not yours to bear princess, they don’t have to be.”

Hak sat up. His hand automatically searched for Yona’s arm, but he let it fall when he saw how tense and distant she looked. It was rather painful to witness.

“You might not believe me, but I don’t stay by your side because it’s my job. I do it because I want to, I chose this path too. For my own petty reasons,” Hak scratched the back of his neck, gathering up courage to say the last sentence. “So don’t go thinking I’m doing this out of kindness, because my feelings for you are purely selfish.”

When Yona finally stared at him, she looked so heartbroken that Hak immediately regretted saying those words.

‘Ah, I guess my true thoughts were never meant to be said out loud’, he thought helplessly.

Suddenly Yona launched herself towards Hak. He caught her, afraid she was about to pass out, but when she started punching his chest repeatedly, he realised she was actually angry at him. Hak honestly didn’t know how he could have ever expected any other reaction from her.

“DON’T SAY THAT!” Yona yelled, between punches. “I DON’T BELIEVE YOU! DON’T YOU DARE SAY THAT! NO!”

He did nothing to stop her. Always making sure she wasn’t hurting herself, Hak let her punch him until she could no longer move. Until her loud cries were just low sobs.

He held her tight against himself one more time, revelling in the warmth and softness. Yona automatically buried her face in his chest, completely worn out and flustered.

“Feeling better now?” Hak asked. Yona said nothing.

He knew he had hurt her. Somehow he was very good at it, even if he hated that about himself. Even if all Hak was trying to do, was what he thought to be the right thing. At last, they couldn’t go on like that forever, it was impossible.

Yona would always be his princess, but never his Yona. He could walk by her side, but never hold her hand. It was meant to be that way since the very beginning. Although pretending things could be different was much better; being able to be there for her regardless of their situation, was a gift that Hak was thankful for.

“When you say things like that, it doesn’t sound like you at all,” Yona whispered. Her voice was hoarse from the yelling. “It scares me.”

Hak wanted to apologize more than anything, but if he did so, it would be just like taking back his words. They could be harsh, but they were also true.

“That’s just how it is, princess. I’ve told you no lies,” those words left a bitter taste in Hak’s mouth. For someone who had spent almost his entire life suppressing feelings and killing hopes, Hak knew he wasn’t doing well this time.

“Hak,” Yona grabbed his sleeve, like she was trying to keep herself grounded.

“Yes?”

“I don’t care if you think that staying by my side is a selfish thing to do,” she kept her face hidden. Hak could feel her warm breath through his clothes. “But please, please stay by my side as much as you can, as much as you want. If you’re selfish, then so am I; we’re finally even.”

Hak managed to laugh a little.

“You don’t have to do that, princess.” ‘You can’t’, was more fitting, but Hak couldn’t bring himself to say it.

Yona then looked up at him. “I know, but I want to. I want us to be even in every possible way, it doesn’t matter how long it takes. That’s also one of the reasons why I fight.”

Hak’s heart started pounding frantically, as though guided by her words. He was sure Yona could hear it. 

“Are you serious?”

“Yes, and someday I’ll fight alongside you. Someday I’ll be worthy of doing such thing. Just wait for me!” Yona smiled as widely as she could. Her face was stained with tears, her eyes were even redder than before, and yet she kept up that positive attitude. And yet, she was still so beautiful.

“Are you dumb?” Hak deadpanned, desperately trying to push his thoughts away.

“Ehhhh!! Why?” Yona pouted. 

“Of course I’ll wait for you,” Hak reluctantly let go of her. It was just no good. He could hold her a thousand times, but in the end, he would have to let her go a thousand more. “I’ll make you regret telling me to stay as much as I want. Now I’m really going to stay and annoy the hell out of you. I’ll annoy your future husband, and even your children!”

Yona laughed. They were slowly going back to normal. All their previous words and feelings were falling behind as a mere echo of their true form.

“I’m not going to get married, Hak.” Yona said while wiping her face. She had said that before, but Hak didn’t think she really meant it.

“Why not?”

“Because you’re staying with me, and I’m staying with you, right?” She then lay down, telling him to do the same, and he did.

Hak didn’t believe Yona knew the full meaning of her own words. What she truly felt for him and his place in her life were possibly a mystery to them both. Yet they trusted each other, and no force could ever change that.

 

It wasn’t long until Yona fell asleep, snuggled up against Hak’s side. He guessed that she had completely forgotten about her plan of watching him sleep, but it was okay. He would watch her sleep instead.

One thing Hak knew for sure: Yona was growing stronger. She would keep growing stronger day after day; but that didn’t stop him from wanting to protect her. It never would.

They were alike in some crazy way, Hak and Yona. She wanted to be his equal; he wanted to be her defender. Both trapped in an endless cycle of holding on and letting go.

They were like two pieces that didn’t quite fit. But it was the strength of their wills that constantly kept them together.

 

_Fin._


End file.
